Today I thought I would run a couple errands during my lunch break rather than checking Facebook aimlessly for an hour. I decided to run to Target to grab a few things. I perused around a bit and then before I knew it, I was walking out with the few things on my list along with 3 new tops, some cute office supplies, and random nick knacks for my apartment. Did I NEED the new tops, gold stapler, and a ceramic bird? Probably not. Not that that seems to matter when I walk into Target. Its like it has this weird power over me (and most women) that makes me disregard all price tags and thoughts of necessity. I wish I could say that this was a rare occurrence, but this happens to me more than I would like to admit. I recall one trip to target in which I went in with the intent of merely buying some orange juice, was in the store for literally 8 minutes tops and bought 5 new sweaters. I was just a tornado with a lack of self-control. Oh, and did I mention that I forgot the orange juice? At least I did pick up the items I originally went in for this trip. Little victories.
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| Picture from Target's Pinterest page. |
Shopping at Target as described by the 5 stages of grief:
Stage 1: Denial
When I first walk into the store, I am focused. "Come on, Stephanie. Eye on the prize. You can do this." Denial at its finest. I am denying the fact that I am weak and trying to instill some self-control. Then I see it. The woman's department is the first thing anyone sees when the walk in. It doesn't take long before my denial goes out the window. I know I'm in trouble.
Stage 2: Anger
"Why do they do this to me?! Don't they know I am trying to save up money for that trip to Cabo?! Haven't they taken enough of my money over the years?!"I begin resenting everything. At this point, I know that I am done for and that it is only a Rationally, I know that the cute swim suits on sale aren't to blame, but displacing the blame on an adorable neon sting bikini top make me feel slightly better for the sins about to be committed on my wallet.
Stage 3: Bargaining
"Oh my goodness. I NEED this swim suit top. I'm already going on vacation so I might as well look good on it. This sweater is only 19.98?! That's like nothing. I have to get it. It's on sale. I wear shoes. I already have nude and beige heels, but I don't have taupe! I need taupe. So I'll have to give up going for bloodies tomorrow. No big deal. [2 second pause] But I love bloodies. I'll just get both." I begin trying to convince myself that I need things that I probably don't really need. But Target Stephanie doesn't care. To Target Stephanie, I need all the things. Don't even get me started on the home goods department.
Stage 4: Depression
As I am checking out, it hits me. The total keeps going up and before I know it, I've spent over $100. Easy. I swipe my debit card and all of the high I acquired while finding so many hidden treasures has evaporated into a depression fueled by my disappointment in my lack of self-control. I pout all the way home like a naughty puppy that just peed on the carpet again.
Stage 5: Acceptance
I have made it home and make it up to my apartment. I unload all of my impulse buys and examine each. "Why was I so upset before? This stuff is great. I love Target." Usually after this I realize that I have forgotten the real thing I went to Target for in the first place and the entire process repeats itself like clockwork.
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